please............my heart really pain til cant breath!!!

why every time i will feel the heart pain???????
i fed up lawhat i can do????
should i think again...but please la
dont want also go and think about him la...
but why i still will heart pain????
very pain did u know????
every time heart pain until i cannot breath...
i will die 1 day if i continue like this!!!!!
anyone can tell me????
i ask this question so many times already...
but not even 1 of my friends can really help me??
why?????
why should i have this kind of feeling??
i hate love??
i hate laa.....
what i can do to make me feel better??
i really dont know...
every time i tell my friend about my stupid feeling...
they talk to me and i feel better...
but why i just feel better for a while only????
i want forever in my life i feel better!!!!
if can...
want me to forgetor not even no who i love is the best...
maybe can give me some accidents??
let me forget everything that had make me suffer....
i love u????
what a stupid stupid feeling!!!!!
i dont love you ok????
but why i say that sentence i will heart pain??
why?????????
i dont want like this la...
i really want to hate you...
if not hate also nevermind la...
just friend la..
but why i cannot??
i also dont understand myself already.....
every time when i'm stop thinking about u...
i very happy...
i can smile whole day...
u....
i want u remember in your whole life...
i hate u...
i hate myself more!!!!
i cannot really say
i love u....
i hate u...
my heart very pain did u know??
is real pain...
like just now i mention until cannot even breath...
hye.............what i can do a?????